dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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