I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
