you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
