Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
