Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

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(440): View more from Ohio

he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.

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(530): View more from California

Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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(331): View more from Illinois

DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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(443): View more from Maryland

Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

(410): View more from Maryland

The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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(330): View more from Ohio

that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.

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(310): View more from California

I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me

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