Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
