I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
