Kiss
Puke
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How does one acquire holy water?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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