good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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