Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
