Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
