FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
