just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
