all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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