She's JV to your varsity
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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