can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
