you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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