i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
