Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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