We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
