Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
