I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
