"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
