I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
