Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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