they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
