Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
