who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
