I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Randomize
