I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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