he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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