we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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