Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
