Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
