took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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