If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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