im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
