Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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