If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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