i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
