At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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