Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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