So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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