Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
