i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
