5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
