Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
