do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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