its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Success! We fucked roommates!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
