I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
