Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize