Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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