I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
