You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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