just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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