I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
