.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize