Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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