I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
