Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
