apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
