I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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