Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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