READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize