Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
